So, we did manage to get through last week without any major
arguments. It seems The journal of best
practice and Ethan’s resolve work well together! He’s been calmer and more
patient with the kids and has tried really hard to be generally more cheerful
and engaged.
There was a tense hour or so on Saturday morning – the day
of Ava and Sam’s summer fair. As I dashed around taking Sam to a friend’s
house, baking a cake with Ava for the cake competition, getting washing hung
out and getting the kids dressed, Ethan decided that now would be a good time
to sort out the craft cupboard. He does this: has a thought or decides a job
needs to be done – and has to act on it right then. Regardless of what else
might be going on. He has a total lack of being able to plan, prioritise or
organise. And he gets really irritated if I or the kids interrupt whatever he’s
set his mind to. He finds it really difficult to see anything else or think
about anything else until that task is done. Never mind that we have to be out
of the house in an hour and he’s still in his pyjamas with half the contents of
two drawers on the kitchen floor!
I shouted (a little bit) and, to his credit, he did manage
to cut a few corners on the reorganising of the drawers and help me get the
kids fed and dressed.
We reached the summer fair in time – all dressed (amazingly)
and with a finished (and, it turns out, award-winning) cake that Ava and I had
created amidst the chaos of the morning. And we’d managed to stay on speaking
terms!
And, I admit, it is nice to have a tidy craft drawer. I just
wonder why he couldn’t have done that one evening when the kids were in bed
rather than on a busy Saturday morning when we have 1001 other things to do and
somewhere to be.
Aspergers isn’t always logical!
Ha ha ha :) Yes - same here!
ReplyDeleteMy partner is mega smart and can plan and organise if it is within carefully set parameters.
But spontaneous and sensible planning among everyday life is not his strength - put it mildly.
Drives me totally nuts. Even I know he can't help it.
I try to guide him by asking eg is that a priority task just now? (He is aware of his weakness and the havoc and stress his planning difficulties create). Sometimes it works but even then it upsets him (because it still points a finger to this weakness).
If you do come up with a good idea for gently supporting this I would love to read about it in your blog!
Thanks again for all the posts. I have now spent most of today reading these - and it is really helpful.